Remember the time when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other? It’s easier than you think to get it back
You can’t beat the honeymoon stage of a relationship. The butterflies in the tummy, wonderful conversations that go on all night, and lingering kisses and cuddles. It’s a feeling like the bubble will last forever and never burst. And that’s the way it should be when you’re in the first flush of love.
Inevitably, however, the honeymoon stage will end as reality kicks in and the stresses and strains of life take over. But there’s no reason why you can’t keep that feeling going. Relationships take work after all and a bit of nurturing will go a long way.
As a spokesman from relationship charity Relate, says: “Give your relationship the same care you give your car or your health with an annual relationship MOT or health check.”
Here’s some of LIVING’s top tips on keeping the honeymoon stage alive.
1. Happy talking
Having a similar outlook on subjects, such as money, kids, sex and aspirations for the future will help make for a smoother relationship. If you’re constantly at odds on some of these issues it will feel like going into battle every time they come up.
As a Relate spokesman says: “Don’t avoid talking about the big stuff.”
Having a shared view on whether you want children, what sort of life you’d like to have and how you will achieve it means you’re both on the same page. That knowledge is a major boost for a relationship and although it doesn’t mean everything will always be perfect, it provides a solid foundation.
2. Time after time
Making time to do things together will help keep that loving feeling alive. It’s easy to let life get in the way of a relationship. Work, finances, children, stress and health concerns can take up a lot of time and it’s easy for couples to become like ships in the night, exchanging only quick chats about the oldest child’s ear infection or whose turn it is to put the bins out.
As Instagram blogger Mother Pukka, aka Anna Whitehouse has said, a quick fumbling kiss by the dishwasher can go a long way in helping a couple to remember they are just that. A couple.
A date night or lunch out where you can make time to concentrate on each other will help you reconnect and recall those heady honeymoon days.
3. Shared passions
You don’t have to join in with your other half’s love of making model airplanes or hiking across the Outer Hebrides at the weekend if it’s not your thing. It’s fine to have your own interests and being supportive and proud of your partner’s passions is a relationship boost.
However, it’s also good to share passions too so whether its amateur dramatics or marathon movie-viewings that light your fire then go for it whenever you can. Doing the things you love together will help you love each other even more.
It’s easy to get irritable or annoyed with your other half. All those little foibles you didn’t notice when you first got together can suddenly become magnified when the honeymoon’s over.
All you need to do, however, is cast your mind back and remember what it was that made you fall in love in the first place. Think about what you love most and tell your partner. Not only will this help you feel the love, but your partner will love hearing it too and before you know it you’ll be back at honeymoon central.
Being appreciative of the good things they do will also help. Everyone enjoys being recognised for what they do for others.
Always being open and honest with your other half keeps the lines of communication open and ensures everyone knows where they stand.
Honesty also helps to build trust, which is vital for a successful relationship.
6. Deeper understanding
If you disagree don’t just let it spiral into an argument. Take a breath, step back and try to see it from the other person’s point of view. You don’t have to change your opinion but being able to understand why someone else thinks the way they do will help you find a way round it.
Listening and understanding are attractive traits, which goes to show you don’t need sexy underwear to keep the honeymoon stage alive. However, it probably doesn’t hurt from time to time!
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