Julie Cadman asks Do you feel confident?
I think that anyone who meets me for the first time would probably describe me as confident. Having said that, I read somewhere that people who have this quality rarely use words like ‘Umm’ and ‘I think’ which yes, you’ve guessed it, I do actually use a lot! I can walk into a room full of people of any age, sex, culture and strike up a conversation on most subjects. Whether they enjoy listening to me of course, is another matter! It is often said that as we get older we become less confident. Somehow I find this difficult to comprehend, as all the ‘older’ people I know, certainly know the true meaning of this quality.
Apparently, according to a survey by Platinum, (don’t you just love these surveys!) women aged 50-65 are happier with their age, relationships and confidence than women in their 20’s. What about women 65 plus? Should there even be a bar?
Would I want to be in my 20’s right now?
Online perfection for young people is right up there with the quest to create the image of a ‘perfect’ life when it comes to social media. Let’s face it, perfection is a marketing tool. Young people are pressured into believing that their faces and bodies ‘should’ look a certain way, and this is often an unattainable goal.
I look back at photographs of myself in my 20’s and I think I looked great, but I can clearly remember back to that time and how unconfident I was – I wasn’t happy with my appearance and always wanted to look ‘better’. Can you imagine having those feelings of inadequacy now? that lack of confidence, and having to cope with ‘fitting in’ to that bubble of perfection?
This obsession to have a youthful appearance, fed to us via some media, can likewise have detrimental effects on older men and women, affecting their self-image, making them question if they are happy with the person looking back at them in the mirror. This is probably why chemical peels, botox, skin fillers and cosmetic surgery is now more popular than ever.
If we actually believe that what we are shown is perfect, this is most certainly going to lead to reduced confidence, which has a domino effect in terms of other attributes when it comes to evaluating ourselves, as this can lead to negativity not just in terms of our appearance, but possibly with other factors also, as this belief in what we ‘should’ aspire to can have a negative effect on both our personality and our success when it comes to our relationships and our career.
The thing is:
You don’t have to look young, but you can look good for your age…
Let’s face it whether we’re male or female, there’s no escape! we are all going to get older, feel older, and look older. BUT, as your age increases, your quality of life does not have to decrease. Ageing should not prevent us from continually reinventing ourselves and looking and feeling the best we possibly can, whatever our age.
It is believed by some, that once the standard retirement age is reached we should naturally want to retire, and that’s great if that’s what you want to do of course, but whether you retire or not, yes, we are all going to slow down to a point as we age, but it shouldn’t be expected that the light stays on red thereafter!
Helen Mirren at 74 is certainly not slowing down. Famous for rejecting plastic surgery in favour of embracing her advancing years, Helen was arguably the star of last year’s Fashion Week, as despite being surrounded by models less than half her age, instead of strutting down the aisle as is the custom, Helen ran the length of the catwalk in bare feet with her Geambattista Valli gown billowing behind her!
I believe that confidence is about self belief, it’s about not trying to compete with anyone and not trying to impress anyone, because you are enough, right …?
Be happy in your own skin and believe in that special person looking back at you each time you look in the mirror.
Because confidence looks good on you 🙂